Thursday, March 16, 2006
alright. wat a long time since my last post. i juz quit sakae sushi as full time staff. its been fun there. gonna go back there as part time staff. anyway. thats not the main point of the creation of this post. i had a dream last nite.
a nightmare.
it still gives me the shudders now as i m typing it.
Been.........
Ever a.......
Nightmare
it ended two years ago. we ended two years ago. wat a memory it was. its supposed to be long gone. long long long goneeeeeeeeeee like the wind tat passes thru the field 2 years ago. long gone. disappeared. at least tats wat i thot. anyway after i woke up this morning i thot back.. i din do anything in particular special or anything during the day tat would trigger anything tat will lead dreaming of you . i went orchard den went for work as usual, came home, watch tv and read my daily lfc football doses and den i went to sleep. so normal. but my dream wasn't anything near tat. i had u in my dream. i thot "why" in my dream.. like a million questions. i couldn't find a reason. u were there. its a dream. yet it seemed so real. i have always been able to control the way my dream works out(always in my favour of coz).. but no. u controlled it. right from the very start. it din feel like my dream at all. altho there were a lot of other ppl there in my dream. u were the one tat keep on popping out. and this time u were not alone. u were with her. i dun like her. juz like in reality. it din feel good of coz. it was unpleasant looking at u with her in my dream. like a million disappointments. isn't the dream a place where things work out differently? its my dream! i want a happy ending! and all i got from this dream was sadness, hurt, tears and anger.. two of u so lovey dovey... juz like trying to spite me.. i could still remember me running and escaping away from u two.. running running... past the corridors... trees.. but in my mind.. it was all you. u appeared once again. this was a burden. and the fact tat u didn't care in the dream was telling me wat a reflect of the reality it really was.
i woke up feeling lost. i found myself staring into space. why? why?... i left you with my memories far far away two years ago.. i had forgotten abt u. i was moving on well with my life. i din care abt you anymore. at least tats wat i thot. was a part of me thinking of you all the time? somehow i wasn't aware of this. all these dreams abt you every now and then makes the memories ever so fresh.. as if they were yesterday.... u are like a virus tat cannot be deleted, always under quarrantine.. every once in a while u will come out and make me sick. hurt and confused.. no doubt i missed u very much. i want u back.. but wats is over its over. there's no chance of me getting u back.. so pls.. stay under quarrantine.. don't ever come out. let my mind stay free of you. i dun want to stay in pain. or as my restaurant manager jokingly said "get lost!" only this time its not a joke.
i dun like you anymore. i dun like you anymore. i dun like you anymore.
wat a lie.
juz stay where you are.
over and out 10:09 PM